Saturday, December 04, 2004

Cunt watch (salmon, grand jury, cointelpro)

Disclaimer: If one were to read that title (rather grotesque, maybe) as a sign of encroaching habitual cynicism, one would be reading far too much. That said, the most satisfying or appropriate moniker for this riteous embarassment of a half-maniacal, half-listless President (judging from the dialectic of his eyes ) for the moment will however remain quite simply, "Cunt." This is the sort of story that really hurts. (I know a thing or two about the trials of making a living as a fisherman.) Following decades of activism, litigation, research and promises, the Cunt administration has predictably uttered an entirely ridiculous salmon policy. In addition to maintaining eight major hydroelectric dams in the Columbia River Basin, the Cunts have decided to reduce the area of "critical habitat" protected by a whopping 80%. As is well known, salmon are an exceptionally delicate species for various reasons. For one, because they travel so much. After a period of three-five years in the ocean (nobody knows where, really) they return to the exact same place in the exact same stream where they were born to lay their eggs and die. Clear-cutting and other development along riverways contributes to erosion and destroys the gravel beds salmon require for spawning. Despite extensive efforts at fish ladders and other things, dams by and large simply kill fish, and prevent migratory ones from returning upstream. A fifty pound King salmon can leap a ten-foot damn, but a 500-foot concrete wall is another matter...In addition:
The administration actions follow an earlier decision to include hatchery-bred fish with wild salmon for purposes of counting fish under the Endangered Species Act...(Christian Science Monitor)

Not only is this not unlike suddently declaring 4 million fewer people "poor" because you've merely adjusted the standards of measurement, but hatchery fish are a disaster generally. Genetically inferior, they escape and mate with the real (stud) fish and thus further contribute to the demise of the species. Not to mention they taste like shit (until one has lived in Alaska, or, preferable perhaps, received vacuum-packed gifts from someone crazy enough to live there, one will have no idea how salmon is meant to taste, In fact there are seven different kinds of salmon, and it's a rare restaurant even in the uncivilized US that serves Sockeye, or Red).
In mildly redeeming news anyway, a former Cunt campaign official, James Tobin, has been indicted by a grand jury and faces a possible five year sentence for phone jamming 2002 (nice of them to wait just over two years until after the election now). And, more and more overtly, cointelpro is coming back. Come to think of it, maybe it's time to take a hiatus from politics and just blog fish stories...

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